Victim Blaming

You need to just move on.
You’re both responsible .
We are friends with both of you .
You are the one who left .
Forgive & forget .
Are you better now?

Victim blaming is the final “Act” of the person who leaves a Cluster B personality type ; Psychopath, Narcissist

Having experienced the worst of a subhuman Disordered person ; love bombing , degradation , hot cold , in out , gaslighting, stalking , Addictions , Rage and control in everything from how you slept, to finances , your values , your voice , your confidence , your thoughts …

To finally have the courage to leave , after many many failed attempts , knowing the extent of what you were leaving was only the tip of the iceberg of the carnage of what you would experienced in the final exit . All the threats that kept you from leaving were now about to flood out through the gates you now opened.

Financial devastation , emotional discard , Devaluing , Blame , Shame …checkmate in the game you had only just realised you could never win .

Already broken , vulnerable , weak , you somehow left it to this point where all you had was the final flicker of an already dimmed light that forced you to sabotage , leave the addiction , the trauma bondage you could feel but couldn’t understand .

It’s contradictory at its core . You consciously watched yourself be treated with absolute contempt and distain . Your logical mind knew it was abuse , your intuitive self screamed for you to leave , stand tall in yourself and be true to your honour . But you felt confused , in love , committed , trapped in the trauma bond he knew you’d adhere to .

There is also the knowing that once you left the abandonment would not be just at the level of the relationship . A skilled Narcissist or Cluster B Personality will have already brought you into their world . A world that is a very strategic a carefully orchestrated facade built up over decades to support a safe place for the perpetrator to abuse . Like the perfect garden the perpetrator meticulously cultivated , as his persona depends on its survival to hide in the shadows .

It’s amazing how perpetrators can accumulate so many victims and yet with a well defined garden not one person will stand up and point out the weeds .

But there is no life in being the victim and so the journey begins with accepting this striking truth …once the wounds have begun to scab…

You were the perfect match . It’s hard to consider that but it’s true . You were the Perfect match .

You can’t blame him anymore than the wolf you thought was domesticated but finally ate your sheep .

It is radical acceptance of what is . He/she is a Narcissist . Accept what he/she is and know the only reason you got entangled into the disillusionment of his facade is because somewhere under that armour you shield is a weakness , a vulnerability that links to your past . A past where someone modelled to you that you were unworthy . That you had to work harder than anyone for validation , for love .

Somewhere in your past you learned to look beyond abuse to the foundations or cause that created the perpetrator . To feel compassion for their sufferings and trauma and to forgive and love them well . Somehow you learned to heal the bad , the unforgivable in the hopes your love would make them whole . Your strength was in fact your weakness as you believed you could , should , would carry not only everything in your own journey but carry everything in theirs . It is in that moment you signed up to be fully responsible for everything in the couple . An unconscious act that inevitably would leave you in the lose lose category you fell into . The trajectory of the inevitable path he wanted you in . Win win for him .

But you’ve learned the hard way it doesn’t work like that . In fact they don’t wish to be healed . They see your empathy as a weakness and chose instead to use it, test it, play with it and destroy it . Your need to heal them , is the distraction to the void of the emptiness in their own self loathing .

It’s amazing how distracted and lost we can become when trying so hard to save another only to lose ourselves . The dichotomy that only in real love would we even consider such a risk of the SELF .

And yet when we finally leave , we are a fragment of what we once were …strong , confident , beautiful , secure , worthy , safe , calm , whole …

And we are told over & over ;

Just move on

It was just a bad breakup

You chose to leave

It takes two

We begin a new chapter .We lose all our friendships , our home , our work , our identity to everything we thought was real .

There is a saying ;

“ You never know who you’ve married …until you Divorce them “

To any woman reading this article who is in a Emotionally abusive relationship , who feels lost , scared , confused .

To any woman who knows intuitively she must leave .

To any woman who had already left but is struggling .

To any woman who has been shunned by everyone , lost everything and experienced victim blaming on top of the abuse .

To any woman who is experiencing PTSD , Fears, triggers, sleeplessness, hopelessness , abandonment & a total rebuilding of EVERYTHING!

To any woman who doesn’t have anyone who truly understands the layers of abuse , the years of suffering and the physical pain of trying to claw your way out .

I understand .

I see you .

I witness your truth .

You are strong .

You are powerful .

And together …I promise you …I will stand up for you until you can stand up for YOURSELF 💓

And one day I promise, you will see the truth …that the love you miss was always a reflection of the light and love you are .

And the only purpose for someone to destroy you was because you are , were too magnificent , too beautiful , too strong for them . And they needed to dim your light because it revealed their ugliness , their rage , their own lack of humanness …so shine bright …

I can work with you to ensure you are the Best version of the you , you were born to be . The win after-all …is in the rise of all of who they never wanted you to be .

Shine bright 💓

Be You 🤗

Be Free 🙏

Deirdre Rolfe

Counselloroncall xx

Why Cancer Patients Should Consider Hypnotherapy “Guest article” by Virgil Anderson

Why Cancer Patients Should Consider Hypnotherapy
Relying on medications throughout a cancer treatment is a very limited way to handle the disease. There are many other alternatives to just drug-use alone. From massages to exercising, cancer patients have countless options to improve their health during and after treatment. Hypnotherapy is the official term for basic hypnosis. Learn more about this treatment option so that cancer patients have an easier time moving forward.

Mental Control Over Pain

When mesothelioma patients experience hypnosis, it’s possible to reduce pain from a mental perspective, reports the National Center for Biotechnology Information. When patients are hypnotized, they’re actually in a state of deep relaxation. Patients are neither awake or asleep. During this session, the body has a chance to disconnect from the pain receptors. Patients don’t actively feel the pain during hypnosis, and they report less pain intensity afterward. Pain control gives patients power over the ailment even if it’s for only a short time period.

Encouraging Stress Relief

One of the major benefits of hypnosis on cancer patients is stress relief. The patient has a chance to concentrate on other details besides their ailment. Hypnosis sessions are calming, but the time afterward is also beneficial. Patients might feel rejuvenated and optimistic after a deeply relaxing sensation. They’re able to gain some perspective on their situation, which leads to less stress. A calmer body allows the immune system to work harder against the cancer cells instead of fixating on emergency responses across all of the tissues.

Nausea and Sickness Anticipation

According to the Cancer Network, patients involved with hypnosis see a marked difference in their digestive health. Nausea is expected with certain treatments, such as chemotherapy, but hypnosis can reduce the intensity along with anticipation of it. Researchers are currently learning that hypnosis plays a part in anticipating nausea or pain. Without a fear of the uncomfortable sensation, the intensity ends up being tolerable with hypnosis as an influencing factor.

Improves Life After Cancer

Cancer patients aren’t limited to hypnosis during their treatments. Doctors encourage patients to continue with the deep-relaxation process. By making hypnosis a consistent habit, patients will see a better quality of life. They’ll emerge with a calmer state of mind with tolerance for pain. Patients might look at this treatment as a mind and body refresher.

Virtual Reality Possible

Some hypnosis experts are going so far as adding technology to the session. Virtual reality enhances the relaxation with real-life visuals. Researchers are still looking for the perfect visuals for each patient, and they may end up using a limited number in order to keep treatments as consistent as possible. Allowing patients to see clouds or trees through virtual reality can take the ailment’s worries out of their minds for a long time.

When patients are diagnosed with a specific cancer, such as mesothelioma, they should get the hard facts about their ailment. With advancements for cancer developing nearly every day, patients have treatment and palliative choices to make life easier and more comfortable. Consider hypnotherapy as a way to escape the mind for just a short period. Emerging refreshed and happy is the primary response from most patients.





Harvard Research how Thoughts and Visualization effects brain and Physical body.

by. Deirdre Rolfe  Jan., 2017

Playing the piano in your mind – Harvard research study no.1

Recently there was some powerful research conducted by world renown Harvard University that focused on how  our thoughts affect the structure of the brain.  Two groups of people were studied; both groups were people of the same intellect all of whom had never played the piano. One group was given the task of playing piano scales every day for a certain period of time. The other group was given the task of merely thinking about playing the exact same piano scales as group one. They were never to actually play the scales, just to think about playing them.

The results were really consistent with other research studies and prove to be extremely important. All participants had been scanned before the study to measure their brains prior to any activity. After the study, the brains of both groups of participants were scanned again to measure any structural changes to the brain as a result of the piano playing (both imaginary & real).

What’s astounding is that BOTH groups of participants showed that the part of the brain that corresponds with finger movements (from piano playing) had considerably grown. So, even the group who had only thought about playing the piano had also changed their brains as if they had physically been playing the scales.

Flexing your finger in your mind – Harvard research study no. 2

This isn’t the only piece of research that concluded a relationship between our thoughts and our physiology. Harvard conducted a second research study where two groups of participants were engaged, with one group tasked to flex their finger each day for a period of time for a number of weeks. As before, the second group were asked to only think about flexing their finger for the same period of time.

What happened? Incredibly, again, BOTH groups of participants showed increased strength in their finger after the study. So the second group literally became stronger just as a result of thinking about doing the exercises. The stats showed that the first group who physically moved their finger had increased their strength by 53% and the second group had increased their strength by 35%.

These are hugely important findings! Especially when it comes to understanding the science behind our thoughts and the importance of what visualization, and Hypnosis can do for you.

Science proves we are influencing our minds, our emotions and our physiological structure daily with the input of messages we process through our senses.



The Good news is  this:

We can learn to practise daily thoughts, visual rehearsals, tune into our emotions and feelings to create the masterpiece of our lives and not only enhance our lives but direct it.

Think about it. If the Harvard research has shown that you can increase your strength just by thinking about it, what other areas of your life can you change for the better simply by thinking about what you want.

The problem most of us is we THINK about what we want, but we negate it blocking it with doubt, statements that’s its too hard, or we just don’t have the time. Or we encounter set goals but  forget to spend some time imagining the goal , feeling it, envisioning it.

This is the key step .

So today, I challenge you to start your day today, and everyday with a goal. Perhaps it is feeling stronger, happier, to get fit, healthy, enhance your career, or just feel good enough.

Think of what it is you want

Imagine it, clearly, in detail, as if you’ve already achieved it

Notice how it makes you feel, how you look, act, think while doing it.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Getting fit – if you struggle getting to the gym, imagine yourself there before actually going!
  • Getting a new job – if you can’t imagine yourself in the role of your dreams then no one else will! Spend some time picturing yourself doing the job and loving it!
  • Finding true love – instead of thinking about all of your faults, think about how great you would be in a relationship. Imagine yourself with the partner of your dreams.
  • Learning  a new skill – if you have always wanted to play the guitar but can’t picture yourself doing it, now is the chance to change that!


This is scientifically proven. This IS how our brains work.

You can choose it either direct your mind and enhance it with daily rituals like this, or continue to be a passive bystander and allow other people and outside influences to affect it. Either way…your brain IS being influenced. You choose.

If you want to experience a Professional Session designed to suit your goals and needs to experience your own individualized MIND TRAINING contact me for an appointment.

If you found this article interesting or helpful please SHARE, life or comment

Stay Fierce

Deirdre Rolfe

Clinical Hypnotherapist & Counsellor

Join me on FACEBOOK 



The Invisible Hero

I’ve worked for over 20 years as a professional counsellor and Hypnotherapist in Canada and now in my home of Australia. I love what I do. I love people and I’ve always been fascinated by human behaviour, what makes us tick, why people get stuck and the interesting ways people perceive things.  I am especially passionate about THE MIND and how powerful we really are and yet aware how very little of us really understand we possess this extraordinary gift. A gift that allows us to completely change and reinvent ourselves and our lives, in any moment, in spite of our circumstances.

Most Therapists chose this profession because they too have a “history” of trauma, dysfunction or family mental health issues and found the power in their own wellness through deeper insights into Psychology, behaviourism,  spirituality and Philosophy.

I was fortunate many years ago when I was in my very early 20s, my training included experiencing Therapy for myself. The idea was to sensitized me to my client’s experience but also resolved any of my own unconscious stuff .This encouraged my authenticity in the work I do as how could one convincingly , authentically , sell a product they themselves would never use?

Therapy all those years ago combined with 10 years of study formulated the foundation of the work I do now but even more importantly, moulded and completely changed the course of who I was set up to be, to who I became.

My work, is so much more than a job, it’s my passion, it’s a deeper spiritual commitment I carry as my mission in life, to guide as many people as I can, for as long as I can, toward their own sense of inner worth, toward their path of healing, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual wellness,to teach the MIND TOOLS  I know can significantly alter their perception , their reality, but most importantly the way they IDENTIFY.

I have witnessed so many people on my couch, look down when describing how they feel about themselves. I’ve heard the stories of addiction, anxiety, depression, shame, embarrassment, confusion, wrong turns, stories of crime, abuse, bad decisions, failed marriages, failed careers, failed lives.

But did you know



I look into my clients, I see their right to be here, I see their courage in coming to my office and exposing their vulnerabilities, I see their pain and sit with them so they don’t feel alone and help them sort through it, I hear their stories and teach them how to transform them, heal and rewrite a new chapter, I challenge those areas that only serve to drown them and keep them stuck, I help them find that part of them that is perfect in all their imperfections, and I tell them about the greatest human gift we all received, and that is, no matter who you are or  how old you are, we all have the ability to reinvent ourselves.


Life can be cruel, horrendously challenging, devastating, and you can


What matters, isn’t how many times you fall, what matters is that YOU GET BACK UP!

My favorite toy as a child was a Weeble. It was an ugly little egg shaped toy with a poorly drawn face on it, and a weight in the bottom base. The idea was you could flick it, hard, with your fingers, and it wobbles all the way to the left side, the right side, front or back, but it always came back up. The jingle was “weedless wobble, but they don’t fall down”.I loved it, and little did I know then just how much that became my internal mantra.


So to ALL my clients who have ever wobbled, no matter how many times, and yet still got back up….yes bruised, a few chunks taken out, BUT … YOU GOT BACK UP





You have been to war, you have battled, you have felt defeated, you have been wounded, but always fight for you, you are worth it, you are perfect in all of your perfection,












JUNE 14 2016

You name it, I’ve studied it. I’m a 52 year old Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who in the beginning of my career inhaled every type of therapy available as I was focused on how to reach and transform the pain in the clients I saw. Amongst traditional counselling, Hypnosis, NLP and life skills I studied, Reiki, Kahuna healing, Tibetan singing bowls ,Energy healing and Chakras, meditation, Music therapy, Art Therapy, Indian Head Massage, Jungian dream analysis and symbolism, and many more alternative therapies .In fact my interests in healing and the human psyche was birthed by my Mother who used to take me to everything that would serve to open my mind to choices in how we heal and connect; Baptist churches, Haitian churches, Indian temples, Psychic fairs, Gypsy readers. My mother wanted me to form my own opinions after I tried something new before I simply rejected it. She showed me the value in honouring the many paths that people take and that choices feed the many needs and languages of what an individual may need. I continued this into my own career so I could at least understand and be more expansive in my approach. I didn’t embrace everything but I enjoyed the journey. I followed the advice of a wise Mentor , one of many I’ve had, who said “Deirdre, there is a high road and low road to everything…always take the high road and you’ll be fine.” Obviously it’s up to the individual to determine what that highroad is and set the boundaries accordingly. I understand the excitement in knowledge, in opening the way for growth, healing, inner reflection and wellness. Embracing new experiences, saying yes , as knowledge IS POWER.

So, it’s not that the Wellness Industry is new….it’s just the wheel is being ‘reinvented” and I worry, as an observer, that REAL is no longer REAL if it’s taught as the latest marketing tool to support your brand and increase those sales. I mean I’m not sure how you feel but I cringe when I see yet another video pop up in my Facebook feed of someone who’s revealing their deepest fear, with puppy eyes sincerity only to quickly tag in that super turbo blender and latest Kale recipe, or some pyramid brand product . Don’t get me wrong, it’s exciting social media, and it’s so powerful. It’s a whole new form of reaching your perspective clients and I do have to navigate through or should I say “stumble” in order to keep up and stay …in the game…but I’m trying to do it with integrity and with the basic common courtesy I’d like others to give me. But it is a game, isn’t it?

What was initially designed to connect us has in fact disconnected us, not just to each other, but worst of all, to ourselves…you know…THE REAL YOU. Assuming you had the time in your own quiet to explore, challenge and reflect on the REAL you. No, its not quite the same thing if every single facet of your self exploration is documented and uploaded ,tagged and stamped with your brand. I mean I remember my Dad spending our entire Disneyland holiday behind the lens of his new 8track video camera. He wasn’t even present on the rides , didn’t participate in our excited dialogues about “Pirates of the Caribbean” ,he was too busy, filming. He missed out on the whole adventure, and to his frustrations those tapes collected dust in his home office as no one cared to view them. You’re either in it, absorbing, inhaling the experience or you’re not. Documenting can disconnect us from the experiencing. Imagine just having fun versus knowing you’re on camera for everyone to see and trying to look like you’re having fun while at the same time looking fabulously young and vital ,slim and REAL.

Perhaps it’s because I have a different window in which I see things. I’ve had clients who have come to see me who have had parts of their stomach removed in order to lose weight under the strains and pursuits of “representing” the required look to support the weight loss or fitness industry they blog about, or to maintain their brand, often being their image. I’ve had clients known in social media for their confidence and strength, cry throughout our sessions overwhelmed by the pressures of feeling unable to show their vulnerabilities.

According to the Fifth National annual Stress and Wellbeing survey in Australia they found Australians are experiencing higher levels of stress, anxiety and depression. In that survey it was found 66 % of teens need to share their experiences online if they were having a good time.Teens are getting confused between cyber world and the real world. Of those who felt the highest amount of feeling disconnected or left out the age range was 18-35.

So is this Wellness industry reaching us, healing us in a way that expands our choices ,inspires us,stirs deeper insights, assist us in being authentic, finding our real inner wholeness, uniqueness, calming us and finding powerful ways of introducing alternative therapies . Or, is this omnipresent force a dangerous weapon of mass destruction concealed in clever marketing, and branding, manipulating our psyche ? Is it fuelling our confusion over what is real, what we need for our individual self growth and not just following the trend.

As an Aries I admittedly scan over my horoscope each morning while having coffee, not a deconstructed coffee, just coffee, but I take it light-heartedly as surely one size can’t fit all.So perhaps instead of us all doing yoga, drinking kale infused smoothies, becoming vegan, mastering duck face,instagraming everything we eat…well what we want others to think we eat, uploading our videos documenting our secrets fears and heartfelt testimonials or how much fun we and our followers who sell our brand are having and the crazy things we get up to cause it’s just fun, fun fun. Maybe we don’t need to do all of that.

Maybe it’s ok that I assume there are others out there just like me who are happy to learn about other services and therapies but with a bit more integrity and honesty. And maybe in doing so, we can allow the natural selective process of people deciding for themselves what feels right. Opening up the way for people to actually hear, feel, sense, connect to their own intuition. I know it might not make me famous, and it will probably cost in a few lost clients, but when I started in this wellness industry over 20 years ago it was about helping other find what’s real to them, and about them. I was taught to assess each client and refer them on if I couldn’t help them , to only treat what I felt they needed or even more importantly what they felt they needed. I had to take various forms of therapy myself to learn and sensitize myself to the experience of my clients. I learned there was no one size fit all method…just various tools, method, theories, I collected to work with as every client must be treated individually as we are all as unique as our fingerprints.

A few years ago I went into a clothing store near my office and the sales girl immediately swooped in on me, holding up dresses she thought would look amazing on me ( yeah when I was 16),accessorizing it with belts, earring, shoes, purse, necklace, it happened suddenly and aggressively. Having studied NLP I recognize the learned tactics…distract, bombard so quickly as to confuse, offer a deal with no time to waste and take the money. I refused, walked out and never, ever went back. When I shop I like to be left alone, to vibe it out, sense, imagine how I’d look in something, where I’d wear it. I know what I like and what I need, I felt violated, and disrespected.

I think the wellness industry in many ways is doing that now.Just today I received an acceptance to join a spiritual group only to be tagged simultaneously by a member offering a FREE Alchemy course that will help me remove the fears I didn’t know I had that prevent me from making the millions I deserve. I responded to a FREE tag on Facebook last year as it came via someone I admired and trusted. Turns out the FREE information that offered to help me write my book had 7 levels of services I needed, each progressing in the 1000s $$$ it would cost AND amazingly it would only take 48 hours to write my book. Funny, a published author I know agonizes for years and does extensive research before he releases his work, but I guess as a graduate of Columbia he is just pedantic, 48 hrs for a book, and its not just about making money? Just this weekend I was at The Mind Body Spirit Expo with my daughter when a woman asked her if she wanted to sign up for a FREE vacation. She said, no thanks.  ‘NOOOOO  scathed the woman,  who doesn’t want a vacation?’ ” I don’t said my daughter.”  “That’s ridiculous, everyone wants a vacation said the woman”.  She was livid, I imagine the FREE wasn’t so free as why did it get her so riled up. All these false gurus who seemingly have our best interest are stressing me out and I wonder how its really affecting others. Whatever happened to just being real.I’m starting to think my own inner rebel is staying away from yoga just to prove my distain for being a sheep as I consider myself more wolf, albeit a wolf with seizing muscles and a sore back. If a service or brand really are good, things will sell themselves right? If something doesn’t sell it means  I need to assess the product or service not up my covert manipulation social media strategies, right? We are smarter than this, aren’t we? Integrity matters, doesn’t it? And just for the record, Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one knows and no one is watching. Not everyone needs to eat kale in fact its ok to hate it, right?

If we go back in time to what wellness used to be, it a much more personal, quiet, inner reflective, intuitive journey that was shared mainly with oneself. Nothing I ever took or studied was forced upon me, or hyper-marketed and inundated in my life. I had to search, look in obscure places, be in the right synchronized places, meeting the right person at that right moment,for me at that time or reading the right notice board. It took time, and I had time, because the more I learned the more I realized I knew nothing and that the evolution of me and my own wellness would be a life long journey. That the process of seeking the things or experiences or therapists or healers I needed was just as important as the experiences I took from them. I learned wellness was an intrinsic experience, that my true wellness and happiness and evolution was created by the internal me not reaching out to the external world. My experience or journey of my own wellness is far from over. I don’t have 1000s of likes or videos or a pictorial collection of duck face images of all the amazing things I’ve done. I couldn’t even fully put into words all I’ve learned. But I feel well, whole, I’ve worked hard at me, and I’m intrigued and excited by who I’ve become.

In the Buddhist depiction of Heaven and Hell there are 6 monks sitting around a round table, each with a bowl of hot porridge and a spoon 2 feet long. In Hell the monks struggle with their excessively long spoons and eventually starve to death, but in Heaven, they feed each other. If you imagined being in the same room with 1000s of you, would it be Heaven or Hell?

My intention is not to disregard the wonders of social media. I love seeing pictures of my friends overseas, my children just having fun, my grandkid’s latest achievements and the global consciousness and response to crisis. However, like a car its both powerful in it’s ability to take you places yet dangerous in the wrong hands.

I merely act a voice for the preservation of Wellness as outside of some great selfies it serves a much more vital role in the prevention of disease, mental disharmony and the pathway to the authentic you. So my message is simply to, Take time out , unplug from all the bombardment of what you should be eating, doing, or how you should look or feel or act, and remember what you used to love; music, dancing, tennis, laughing, art, and go do it. Do things on your own, try something new, and if you don’t like it, at least you tried. Keep some things to yourself, your greatest validation comes from within you. Get out in nature, do things that make you laugh, that make you feel loved or special or even desired. And at some point , when you feel ready, find a therapist that’s right for you. Decide if you need a Male or a female, the type of therapy that interests you and the qualification you want them to have. Find a picture of the potential therapist and Vibe it out, and do some work on you, accountable people are the healthiest people .Most importantly enjoy the process, you have time. The moment we stop philosophizing, reflecting, thinking for ourselves and listening in to our own intuition, being real, individual and evolving is the moment we are no longer alive on this earth, and I wish for all of you to reach the wonderful old age of 115.

Stay real

Trust your intuition

Deirdre Rolfe
Clinical Counsellor and Clinical Hypnotherapist


Brain scanning technology is quickly approachi...

Brain scanning technology is quickly approaching levels of detail that will have serious implications (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Both success and failure start in the MIND as a thought.Each thought then sets off a flood of electro-chemical energy in your physical brain.Your related mind-set then determines how you will evaluate and respond to that thought.

A mindset is a “mental tendency or habit”.Most of us get stuck here.Our mindsets lead us through life,for good or for bad.We just except it as part of who we are.Often feeling powerless to affect any of the changes we desire.However, our mindset tendencies or habits go much deeper.A mindset is really only the superficial level.Go deeper, and you will discover the actual source lies in your subconscious.

What is behind a limiting mindset?

Your mind-sets will either carry you forward or limit you.But whether positive or negative,mindsets are mental gates that have a very real physical reality in your brain.The gates take advantage of a natural tendency of your brain to favor the familiar – often called habits.

Our brains naturally establish neural pathways that direct our actions.If you have always driven a certain way to work, your brain will lay that out in your brain as a very stable neural network.Then when you get into your car to go to work, you don’t even need to think about where you are going. Your actions are automatic.

The same thing happens when you think a though of “starting a new business”.Your brain will immediately look for the most stable pre-existing “start of of new business” neural network and will direct your thoughts and actions along that path.It then connects with physical set points that create your ‘start a new business” mindset.

What are setponts?

Set-points are something .like gates that place limits on your thoughts and actions.If you had a painful failure when you once tried to “start a business” you will likely have a physical set-point that will try to save you from future failure and pain.These set points are embedded in emotionally charged neural networks that create your mindsets, and are  at the core of what you feel are your personal limitations.

Improve your potential.

To build a true success mind-set , your need to dive in and remodel the set-points built into your subconscious mind.You could spend years in counselling to do this, but there is a much faster far more enjoyable way…HYPNOSIS.

OK then, so what is a thought?

On the level of your mind, a thought is basically energy that cause an electro-chemical response in your brain.The net result is that your brain’s neurons then fire in a certain pattern.That produces tiny currents of electrical energy that pass along definite pathways.These currents can be traced as “brain waves” by attaching electrode to your skull and attaching the electrodes to an EEG.

Your Brain  actually produces between 5 and 10 volts of brain wave energy-enough to light up the inside of a refrigerator.

The electrical current produced by your thought is then broadcast in  the form of electromagnetic brain waves to each of your cells-and also straight out into your environment.

So what does THAT say about your mind’s limitless potential?


Your mind’s set points are not based on your true mind power, physical or success potentials.They are experience based memories that have become set into your brain’s neural networks so solidly that they have becomes beliefs.

And even your beliefs are NOT what you think.They are seldom accurate and can be totally false and do NOT necessary serve you at all.They may actually be trapping you in a limited reality that does NOT reflect who you can be..


Is your reality reflecting the brain you want….or the brain you have?


Deirdre Rolfe


Hypnosislapband,virtualband,banding,hypnolapband….so what is it all about…and does it work…and if it works …how does it work anyways?

I had a client in last week, who came to see me to Stop-smoking, because someone he worked with had seen me to stop smoking with great sucess and he came to me because someone he knew saw me for Hypnogastricband. Word of mouth is my main staple 🙂 Now this new client, told me a remarkable story about that client who had hypnogastricband a few years before…that was incredible. You see , even after 20 years of working as a Clinical Hypnotist, with all the wows and amazement the powers of the mind has shown me…it never gets tired…there is still always another wow moment just around the corner…which proves the limitlessness of our own capabilities.

So, this woman who had hypnogastricband, felt full, in fact she easily let go of weight and in total lost an amazing 60 kilos.But that isn’t even the most amazing part…you see , after just a few weeks of having had the “procedure” she had “symptoms” which prompted her to see her Doctor…they were: re-flux, burping,slight constipation from eating significantly less,low tolerance for more than minimal food solids and slow sipping of liquids,and just a very slight feeling of being tired.The Doctor looked at all of her symptoms and knowing her well asked if she had any surgery she hadn’t told him about as all of her symptoms mimicked someone who had undergone stomach sleeve or band surgery.The client then explained she had had hypnosislapband…her Doctor…was simply, amazed.

Now understand these are powerful results and most people fall into a range of symptoms between controlling their eating, feeling full, and having a mental sense of their experience to the other spectrum of fully and completely Feeling as if the surgery has occurred.Its a powerful result…and Ive seen other powerful cases.

One woman I worked with had essential tremors…we were able to convince her subconscious mind she had a disc placed between the electroneurons that fired causing her to tremor ,blocking them and therefore minimizing the tremors.

So if within the content of a Clinical setting these results are constant and consistent…then out there on our own…i wonder what we are doing…on that autopilot response to positively or negatively influence our physical body…or our emotions…or our approach to the world we live in.

Be very aware of the environment you allow yourself to live in, experience, absorb through your sense…because your environment is as contagious as the common cold.And remember…your subconscious mind…is always listening.

If you are interesting in experiencing the Hypnosislapband procedure, go to and you can purchase the entire program for a fraction of what it would cost in person.Grab a mate and share the price as you receive downloaded audio files you keep 🙂

You are powerful…Hypnosis when done by a Clinical , qualified practitioner…can create instant, long lasting powerful changes.

Deirdre Rolfe M.T.C.

Clinical Hypnotherapy and Clinical Counselling

Kinesthetic emotions

Kinesthetic is one of the forms of processing we use to filter information we receive from he world around us. Kinesthetic is the feeling, emotive, sensing and physical processing of information.And although the other processing pathways; visual and auditory are as powerful at the actual point of absorption, I have witnessed in my Therapeutic practice and experienced within myself a deeper resonance that is felt and symptomatically reactive from a physical body level.

Consider grief, anxiety, depression, PTSD, childhood abuse,unexpressed tears,voice,thoughts,emotions,and how they can become trapped. CBT or talk therapy helps to  alleviates the head stuff…allows one to intellectualize and get to the understandings , reframes, gives topical solutions.But you can reach a point where Over talking, over analyzing can actually be harmful…perpetuating that loop of incessant memories…or recalling a story you live by…are stuck in…creating a reality you don’t necessarily want to be stuck in any longer.However there are deeper pits, wounds that can only be release in the same way they got in….kinestetically.

Physical movement through dance, exercise,running, yoga, breath work, sound through music or no sound at all,being physically warm, blanketed, comforted, warm soothing drinks, walks in cool air, sitting by the beach, getting a massage, having a long soothing bubble bath.

As you learn to micromanage and release the built up “tensions” you’ve become so accustomed to ignoring…the signals to alert you that you are out of balance: anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, weight gain…diminish.

Find ways to release….and you will allow your body to reset to its calmer state of equilibrium.


Deirdre Rolfe M.T.C.



The miracle PILL


What if there was a pill that you could take daily, that would give you an instant energy boost, make you feel better about yourself, infuse confidence, de-stress you, calm your nerves, make your mind sharper, clearer, keep you lean, fit,help regulate your emotions and create overall emotional well being. Would you buy it?Would you take it daily?

Well you can…and this pill could be your new drug of choice…and whats even better is this drug is all natural.And what if I told you unlike most drugs that lose their effectiveness over time , this drug gets stronger.And what if I told you this drug is instant and has lingering long-term effects.

So do you want to know what it is?


Yup….that dreaded word is actually your feel good cure to most things that ail you.In fact I tell all my clients if I had a prescription pad I’d be writing EXERCISE 5xs per week or more.Exercise boots those natural chemicals in your body and helps regulate them. Endorphins, serotonin,Dopamine, all that good stuff that keeps your mind, your emotions, your hormones, your inner chemistry, your physical health , in check.And yet…most people ignore its power.

Its easier to turn to cigarettes , drinking, gambling,drugs, excessive shopping, or over eating…right?Wrong! In fact the same formula you used to get “addicted” to those sabotaging behaviors is the same formula you can use to redirect your new drug of choice toward EXERCISE

YES you can CRAVE exercise .

All you need to do is :
Make a decision to change
Dont think…just do it (get up, get dressed, get out the door and look forward to embracing the fresh air and walk…and oh by the way since you are there already walk/run…and when the last thing you feel like doing is walking another minute…add five more.)
Focus on the feel good endorphin , the dopamine the serotonin you get at the end…your feel good daily pill that keeps you OK

The more you do this…the more you crave doing this…the more you exercise and FOCUS On the rewards…the more you crave it.

Grief, depression, stress, anxiety, frustrations….unexpressed parts of you…get trapped in your body….if you dont’ release them, they stagnant turning into chronic depression, generalized anxiety,general malaise, perpetuating a cycle of feeling dis empowered in yourself.

The TRUTH however, is that you possess something very powerful within you…right now…its your MIND.And you can control your mind creating incredible shifts of change, instantly…once you understand the FORMULA and how to direct it…harness its true power.
Ill write more on your mind…or check out my site at

But for today….right now…crave exercise…move more each and every day
Dont think…just do it…focused on how great it feels to get fresh air…focused on the rewards…focused on taking that feel good pill each and everyday…the more you move…the better you will feel…the more in control of you , you become.

Celebrate your greatness

Deirdre Rolfe M.T.C.
Clinical Hypnotherapist and Clinical Counsellor

Conflict resolution


Here is a conflict resolution PLAN and at the end a conflict resolution exercise to help you with your interpersonal relationship. Communication remains the number one issue that gets in the way of a healthy relationship. Very few people know how to be a good communicator as the process is much more complicated than most realize. When you take the time to communicate with your partner, consider the environment in which you chose to discuss something. Is the space you’re in quiet, comfortable, private? Is the timing right? Are you both able to discuss things in a cal m manner…because once it escalates the process shuts down and you are no longer going to get positive results.
Follow the guidelines below to use as a template in your own life

The Conflict resolution exercise

The issue between us is________________
(Write down the issue)
Partner one
I feel _________ when you_________ or I feel_________because ___________
I need_______________because it helps me___________________

My responsibility in this is__________________and I can commit to___________________________________________________________________

To resolve this we could(list as many options as you can think of)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Partner two
I I need_______________because it helps me___________________

I feel _________ when you_________ or I feel_________because ___________

My responsibility in this is__________________and I can commit to____________________________________________________________________

To resolve this we could… (again, list as many options as you can think of)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now take some time to discuss and consider the options available. Make sure the solutions are practical and positive.

Both of you

We have agreed to________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The change(s) I am going to make are_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The change(s) my partner is going to make are_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We will sit down and talk about how the changes are going on…
(set a date)____________________________________________________

Communication exercise
Allow 1 hr 30 minutes each
Facing each other, each person is allowed one uninterrupted 30 min session .Even if you don’t feel you have enough to say for 30 minutes utilize the whole time anyways. The only reason your partner may have to speak at any time during those 30 mins is to ask their partner to a) repeat what was just said or B) to ask for further clarification. After each partner has had 30 minutes to express whatever they needed to express the two are then to depart and not discuss any aspect of this exercise for a minimum of 24hrs
The purpose of this exercise is to both facilitate active listening and effective communication skills.
Some effective communication tips to remember
Use sentences structuring form your perspective e.g. “I feel”….”I feel hurt when you forget our get –together because I feel as if you don’t value the time you spend with me”
Much better than You sentences “You make me feel sad because you forget our time together.”
Another good communication skill sis “I need” “I need to feel loved, and I need to be heard because it makes me feel safe” rather than “You don’t make me feel safe and you don’t listen to me”

Eliminate “Always, Never, Shoulds and buts”
You always say you’ll do it but never do
You never do anything right
I love you but….
I’m sorry but….
Always and never are so qualifying…how can anyone improve if there is no room for progression.

Deirdre Rolfe MTC
Clinical Hypnotherapist