Kinesthetic emotions

Kinesthetic is one of the forms of processing we use to filter information we receive from he world around us. Kinesthetic is the feeling, emotive, sensing and physical processing of information.And although the other processing pathways; visual and auditory are as powerful at the actual point of absorption, I have witnessed in my Therapeutic practice and experienced within myself a deeper resonance that is felt and symptomatically reactive from a physical body level.

Consider grief, anxiety, depression, PTSD, childhood abuse,unexpressed tears,voice,thoughts,emotions,and how they can become trapped. CBT or talk therapy helps to  alleviates the head stuff…allows one to intellectualize and get to the understandings , reframes, gives topical solutions.But you can reach a point where Over talking, over analyzing can actually be harmful…perpetuating that loop of incessant memories…or recalling a story you live by…are stuck in…creating a reality you don’t necessarily want to be stuck in any longer.However there are deeper pits, wounds that can only be release in the same way they got in….kinestetically.

Physical movement through dance, exercise,running, yoga, breath work, sound through music or no sound at all,being physically warm, blanketed, comforted, warm soothing drinks, walks in cool air, sitting by the beach, getting a massage, having a long soothing bubble bath.

As you learn to micromanage and release the built up “tensions” you’ve become so accustomed to ignoring…the signals to alert you that you are out of balance: anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, weight gain…diminish.

Find ways to release….and you will allow your body to reset to its calmer state of equilibrium.

 

Deirdre Rolfe M.T.C.

CounsellorOnCall

http://www.counselloroncall.com.au

http://www.hypnosislapband.com.au

 

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The miracle PILL

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What if there was a pill that you could take daily, that would give you an instant energy boost, make you feel better about yourself, infuse confidence, de-stress you, calm your nerves, make your mind sharper, clearer, keep you lean, fit,help regulate your emotions and create overall emotional well being. Would you buy it?Would you take it daily?

Well you can…and this pill could be your new drug of choice…and whats even better is this drug is all natural.And what if I told you unlike most drugs that lose their effectiveness over time , this drug gets stronger.And what if I told you this drug is instant and has lingering long-term effects.

So do you want to know what it is?

EXERCISE.

Yup….that dreaded word is actually your feel good cure to most things that ail you.In fact I tell all my clients if I had a prescription pad I’d be writing EXERCISE 5xs per week or more.Exercise boots those natural chemicals in your body and helps regulate them. Endorphins, serotonin,Dopamine, all that good stuff that keeps your mind, your emotions, your hormones, your inner chemistry, your physical health , in check.And yet…most people ignore its power.

Its easier to turn to cigarettes , drinking, gambling,drugs, excessive shopping, or over eating…right?Wrong! In fact the same formula you used to get “addicted” to those sabotaging behaviors is the same formula you can use to redirect your new drug of choice toward EXERCISE

YES you can CRAVE exercise .

All you need to do is :
Make a decision to change
Dont think…just do it (get up, get dressed, get out the door and look forward to embracing the fresh air and walk…and oh by the way since you are there already walk/run…and when the last thing you feel like doing is walking another minute…add five more.)
Focus on the feel good endorphin , the dopamine the serotonin you get at the end…your feel good daily pill that keeps you OK

The more you do this…the more you crave doing this…the more you exercise and FOCUS On the rewards…the more you crave it.

Grief, depression, stress, anxiety, frustrations….unexpressed parts of you…get trapped in your body….if you dont’ release them, they stagnant turning into chronic depression, generalized anxiety,general malaise, perpetuating a cycle of feeling dis empowered in yourself.

The TRUTH however, is that you possess something very powerful within you…right now…its your MIND.And you can control your mind creating incredible shifts of change, instantly…once you understand the FORMULA and how to direct it…harness its true power.
Ill write more on your mind…or check out my site at http://www.counselloroncall.com.au

But for today….right now…crave exercise…move more each and every day
Dont think…just do it…focused on how great it feels to get fresh air…focused on the rewards…focused on taking that feel good pill each and everyday…the more you move…the better you will feel…the more in control of you , you become.

Celebrate your greatness

Deirdre Rolfe M.T.C.
Clinical Hypnotherapist and Clinical Counsellor
http://www.counselloroncall.com.au
http://www.hypnosislapband.com.au

My life plan

My Life PLANnote_to_self

LifePlan

Imagine , in the future, your old 90 year old self, looking back, to now….how do you want to be remembered?

How do you want to be remembered in self ; your values, beliefs, what mattered to you, what you did, how you contributed.

As a Partner? Did you love, were you married, for how long , what did you do that was amazing for your partner, for love???

And children” Did you have any…what was amazing about them and why.What was your relationship like with them?

Follow all the areas of your life as prompted below and write down the answers from your 90 year old self’s perspective.

This is your life Plan….keep it…and re-read it every year to measure how you’re doing…the insights will astound you.

List each category you’ve chosen for  your life chart and answer this question for each one.

How do you want to be remembered by the following?

Self, Partnership, children, family, Love,friends, career, community, Life’s purpose,life’s contribution

Deirdre Rolfe

Clinical Hypnotherapist

http://www.counselloroncall.com.au

http://www.hypnosislapband.com.au

The shadow

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The Shadow                                             13/07/2008

 

The Shadow is a psychological term introduced by the late Swiss psychiatrist, Dr. Carl G. Jung. It is everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied. These are dark rejected aspects of our being as well as light, so there is positive undeveloped potential in the Shadow that we don’t know about because anything that is unconscious, we don’t know about.

The Shadow is an archetype. And what an archetype simply means is that it is typical in consciousness for everyone. Everyone has a Shadow. This is not something that one or two people have. We all have a Shadow and a confrontation with the Shadow is essential for self awareness. We cannot learn about ourselves if we do not learn about our Shadow so therefore we are going to attract it through the mirrors of other people.

The first thing we have to do in order to begin to see our Shadow side, is to take 100% responsibility for our lives. This is a very difficult thing to do and no one does this overnight so we have to be patient with ourselves.

Being in the human experience, we have all had many painful, difficult experiences where it clearly looks like it is the other persons fault, or bad luck in life or whatever else we want to call it. So taking total responsibility for what appears to come to us is no easy task but it is well worth the effort because when we take responsibility for what happens to us, we can then learn and grow from our experiences and make new choices for ourselves.

Changing our attitude from blame to responsibility will change what happens next in our world. Our destiny is of our own making and what goes on inside of us will be reflected outside of us all the time.

I am very fond of this ancient axiom given to us by the alchemists of long ago: “As above, so below, as within, so without, so that the miracle of the one can be established.” What it is saying is that what is within us will also be outside of us. Inner states of consciousness will be reflected in outer situations time and time again. If we are willing to look at the significance of these repeating patterns, we will see the synchronicity of events and situations and ultimately once integrated the miracle of the one is established as we become one with ourselves.

We have all had experiences with other people that really irritate us. Whenever we feel ourselves over-reacting emotionally to a quality or characteristic in someone else that pushes all of our buttons (and there will be a repulsive element to it), we can be sure that we are seeing a part of our own Shadow.

We will not be able to stand this other person or be around them at all. The reaction is usually extreme distaste as these characteristics or qualities that we despise or hate in others are our own and they are usually operating outside of our awareness. They are in our unconscious and usually they will be the exact opposite of what we believe to be true about ourselves.

Now a person carrying a light part of our Shadow we will be very drawn to, and may even fall in love with, and this is the ‘Gold’ part of our Shadow. So we can also project some of our very positive qualities when we meet someone we truly admire, but most of us have more trouble with the negative experiences as we encounter our Shadow. This is the psyche’s way of bringing itself into the light meaning the light of consciousness.

Projection is an unconscious psychological mechanism. We all project onto other people parts of ourselves that we disown, that we deny. We will usually not identify with the projected quality or characteristic at all. It’s them. It’s not us.

So notice. Notice who comes into your life that irritates you or pushes your buttons. It’s usually something that is so unconscious within yourself, that it’s impossible to see that it’s about yourself. If it indeed is a part of your own Shadow, in time you are going to see how it’s going to start repeating in patterns.

Jung believed that whatever we are highly identified with in our character, the opposite extreme will be in our unconscious. He called this the law of opposites. So unconsciously we will attract the parts of us that we actually badly need.

It can be really interesting when a friend points out to us something about our character, and we will say to them, “I’m not like that.” We will resent them. We will be angry with them and we won’t want to have anything to do with them anymore because we will feel misunderstood.

So whenever you catch yourself saying “I’m not like that,” if it gave you an emotional charge when they said it, — you probably are like that, you just don’t know it. A really good way to bring your Shadow qualities into awareness is to ask a couple of really close friends to describe you on paper. They see our Shadow side way before we do. Our real friends love all of us, the light and the dark, and accept our humanity the way we accept theirs. And isn’t acceptance what we are all looking for?

How many times have you said something and then said, “I didn’t mean it that way.” Well we did mean it that way and our Shadow decided to have its say. The Shadow side of us relates to life much more authentically and it will come out whether we like it or not.

Repressing or denying our Shadow can lead us into experiences where we are overwhelmed by it and it can take us over. Then we can end up with egg on our face, acting in the very way we have denied or condemned in others and saying to ourselves, “Why did I act like that? I am not like that.” Well when we say it like that — “I’m not like that,” — we are like that, we just don’t know it.

There are many hidden and undeveloped parts in all of us and in attempting to keep our self-image intact, we will completely deny their existence. We do this because we want to be accepted by our society, by our families and our peers. Our baser qualities — our hypocritical behavior, our excessive greed, our ruthlessness, our ability to be manipulative — go straight into the unconscious. But that doesn’t mean they are not active in our life, they just live in the unconscious (unsupervised), and periodically they burst forth into our awareness and propel us into situations that we would much rather avoid.

So the more we know about ourselves, the more choices we have. We can then choose not to behave in a certain way. When we don’t know about something, then it will take on a compulsive, autonomous element to it.

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is
embodied in the individual’s conscious life,
the blacker and denser it is.
At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag,
thwarting our most well-meant intentions
.
Dr. Carl G. Jung

We have to be willing to see the part we play in attracting certain relationship issues into our lives. We can’t change anything we don’t know about. And we certainly can’t change other people so we must be aware of our total Self, the dark and the light, and then at the same time make choices about our own behavior.

No one does this overnight. Shadow work is a life-long retrieval process and it takes years of patient inner dialogue with oneself to understand and even admit to ourselves that Shadow work is even realistic and necessary. It’s not easy to do and takes time and energy. Not always, but most often it begins at midlife when we become determined to see the truth about ourselves after a series of painful relationships.

It is impossible to truly learn about our whole Self and grow into more conscious human beings without this kind of internal self-honesty and  a great deal of courage. The end result however will create a level of  balance and calm in ones inner world, ultimately affecting one’s outer world.

Deirdre Rolfe

Clinical Hypnotherapist and Counsellor

www.counselloroncall.com.au

www.hypnosislapband.com.au

Your 9 Needs

 

 

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The Nine Needs:

We all have basic human needs in order to feel in balance in our lives.On a seperate pice of paper write down your hieracrcy of needs in order of importance to have a sense of where to begin working on what you need for you in your life now.Write these needs in tiers of “3” from the first colum being most important, to the 3 in middle being of medium importance and the final 3 being  the least important.This will give you a visual “map” to follow allowing you to ascertain if you are adressing the right needs in order of theri importance.

You may also chose to individualize these needs to suit you by adding your own version of what each need means to you.This will giv eenv further clarity to what you need in order to feel fulfilled.

Security

Security is the need to feel safe, to feel assured that they know what is going to happen, to know ahead of time what the plans are.

Adventure

Adventure is the need for an adrenaline rush, to have new experiences, to travel, to have BIG experiences. To discover and be curious.

Freedom

Freedom is the need for independence and spontaneity. It is also the need to have choices and to feel in control of making those choices. To have your own space.

Love

Love, nourishment, touch, connectivity of self and with others, authenticity, self love.

Power

People with a need for Power need to be in a position of authority and responsibility.

Health

Inner strength, longevity, energy overall wellness,

Acceptance

Acceptance is the need to accept yourself and be accepted by others. 

Community

People with a need for Community like to feel they are contributing to their community; making a difference.

Expression

Expression is the need to be artistic, to be seen, to be heard, to be felt. It is the need to express oneself through words, speech, actions, dress, art and self-creations of all types.

Enjoy 🙂

Deirdre Rolfe M.T.C.

Clinical Counsellor & Clinical Hypnotherapist

www.counselloroncall.com.au

www.hypnosislapband.com.au

www.counselloroncall.wordpress.com

Its all Perspective

Life is a matter of PERSPECTIVE

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THE ELEPHANT AND THE BLIND MEN
John Godfrey Saxe’s ( 1816-1887) version of the famous Indian legend,

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach’d the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -“Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he,
“‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

This poem beautifully illustrates how our reality is simply what we perceive from our point of reference. So often we get caught in defending our need to be right based on where we are standing. Yet this point illustrate how another’s person’s viewpoint can be equally right…just a “different” perspective…neither wrong nor right.

And freedom can be gained from recognizing we are all right and all wrong.

It also shows us we don’t’ have to be stuck in our realities…that change can occur by stepping to the right or left and viewing the situation from another perspective in order to find a different approach or feeling towards it.

 I wonder in what area of your life  are you unable to see the whole picture?Suppose you look at it from another perspective?Perhaps the answers are right in front of you afterall.

Deirdre Rolfe

Clinical Hypnotist and Clinical Counsellor

CounsellorOnCall

www.counselloroncall.com.au

www.counselloroncall.wordpress.com

www.hypnoislapband.com.au

BOUNDARIES

Creating-Healthy-Boundaries

 

BOUNDARIES: A Minimum Maximum approach to total wellness

Imagine renting a house without doors or windows. I wonder how long it would take before you felt uneasy about it. Eventually… you might imagine…at some point…some undesirable effects may results from this lack of protection. Boundaries in your life are the windows and doors to your home.

I think it can be helpful to establish boundaries in terms of minimums and/or maximums. For instance, you may have a boundary that states you will work out three times per week at a minimum. The minimum is the boundary that defines what is considered “good enough” for your life. You can also set a maximum boundary around working out. This boundary might say that you will not work out more than five times per week – you will allow two days for rest.

The minimum and maximum boundaries protect you from patterns of perfectionism and procrastination.

If you go below your standard, you are not honoring what is important to you. If you go above your standard, it might mean you are placing unrealistic expectations on yourself. Boundaries are designed to protect you and the life that you want to live.

There are seven types of boundaries to consider:

Self-esteem Boundaries
Self-esteem boundaries protect your sense of worth. These boundaries help you feel good about you. What is the minimum you need to do to maintain self-respect? Perhaps you need to follow through on your promises, or maintain honesty in your life. What are the limits you need to set with yourself and other people to make sure your self-esteem is not compromised?

Body Boundaries

What do you need to do to protect your body? What physical limitations might you need to recognize? What standards need to be in place for you to protect your physical health? It could be that a certain minimum amount of exercise or a maximum amount of food or drink is required. It might mean you always honor regular health and dental appointments.

Energy Boundaries
Energy boundaries obviously protect the amount of physical and emotional energy you have to operate from. What energy drains in your life need to be eliminated or minimized? Which energy refuelers must be present to help you maintain the energy you need for your life?

Time Boundaries
Time is a precious commodity. Without the proper time boundaries, we lose something we can never get back. What non-negotiable boundaries must be in place to protect your time? What is the maximum amount of time you will spend on a particular activity, at a specific event, or engaging in work? Time management is all about having clear boundaries.

Space Boundaries
Our space includes any environment we spend time in. We need to protect our spaces so they nourish us and enable us to live our lives optimally. Space is making sure you have your have your own “stuff” to enjoy in your environment, your own special chair, or favorite cup. Pay attention to your needs for organization, cleanliness , quiet, or beauty in your environments. How do you know when your environment is “good enough”? What does the minimum and maximum state of your environments need to look like?

Money Boundaries
Just like time, we need money to survive in this life. Your money boundaries protect your finances. What are the limits you need to set on spending and saving? What is the minimum salary you are willing to work for? Consumer debt, for instance, is the result of unidentified or compromised boundaries.

Relationship Boundaries

What boundaries need to be in place to protect your relationships? Our relationships are truly our greatest gift in life. How much time do we need to spend to nurture our relationships? How much intimacy do you need to feel connected? What limits do we need to set on our behavior in relationships? Boundaries help ensure our relationships remain healthy.

Boundaries are essential to helping us identify who we are, what’s important to us and how we want to live our lives. Without them, other people will decide these things for us.

*Remember, no one can make you feel angry, anxious, unworthy, fat, stupid, incompetent, devalued, or rejected WITHOUT your permission.

 

Write down what you need in this exercise below:

 

Self-esteem Boundaries 

 

Body Boundaries 

 

Energy Boundaries

 

Time Boundaries

 

Space Boundaries
Money Boundaries

 

Relationship Boundaries

 

Deirdre Rolfe

Clinical Hypnotherapist

www.counselloroncall.com.au

 

How to create success Simply, POWERFULLY and FAST

This is a very powerful yet simple exercise to create strong mental shifts within your mind.Just because it appears simple however does not mean it is not a powerful and profound tehcnique….it is.Please note it is important you follow a few simple instructions to fully utilize the full effectiveness of this exercise, otherwise your conscious mind will dismiss its values and get in the way with its normal can’t shouldn’t won’t doubts etc.

Now everyone has an imagination, some of us are visualist, some of us are more feeling, whatever your strongest sense , trust me when I say you have an imagination.

So, very simply, find a place where you can sit comfortably with your eyes closed and just take a few deep breaths in just releasing, relaxing on each exhalation.

Now, I’d like you to vividly imagine your desired future, notice how you look, feel, act, think, dress, walk, talk and how people around you respond to you…as if you’ve already achieved it.

Now float back in your mind to the present time…slooooowly…and notice the steps you took to get there.

Now open your eyes and from this point forward ACT AS IF

ACT AS IF you have that job…dress as if…talk as if.Act as if you are super confident…dress as if , walk, talk as if.Act as if you are succesful, dress, walk, talk as if.

You see, the subconscious doesn’t know the difference between what is real or imagined…it takes what ever you give it.So give it what you want…AS IF…you’ve already got it….otherwise youre programming your mind for where you’re at and continue getting more ….or THAT.

Deirdre Rolfe

Clinical Hypnotherapist

www.counsellloroncall.com.au

Ho to get your mojo back?Designed for women but men can follow these rules too.

Did you know one fo the biggest complaints women commonly share is general malaise.Its not “depression” or chronic fatigue syndrome, or low libido, or menopause or just weight gain from overeating…although it could seem like all of these.No, its because you’ve lost your MOJO.

So how do did you lose it?

And more importantly , how do you find it?

Rule # 1

Stop making everyone in your life a priority over YOU

Think about it, if you really want to be a great Mom, Wife, friend or employee or business owner…then you need to take care of you first.That way everyone else gets the happy, positive, refreshed, real you, not the worn out, resentful, sleep deprived grumpy you.

Rule # 2

Get Moving

Nothing will make you feel more empowered, less stressed, happier, control your eating, and open your mind , faster , than exercise.Its the feel good pill you deserve.Crave endorphins not calories.

Sleep

Get enough sleep.A foogy irritable brain will make foggy irritable decisions creating foggy irritable moods which create foggy irritable actions which create foggy irratible over eating .So, take a warm lingering bath, have a hot cuddly drink, watch a spirit lifitng show on TV or curl up to a good book and get a good night’s sleep.

Sex

Yes , have more sex….its good for you.Why…well…let me give you just a few reasons why….

1.Our mental and emotional health balance is clearly influenced by sex. Abstinence is known to causea range from anxiety to paranoia and depression.In fact, in cases of depression,studies show, after having sex the brain releases endorphins, that decrease stress, inducing a state of euphoria, lifing mood. 

Intimacy

Kisiing, holding hands, cuddling are all releasing oxytocin